Oops we did it again

For some reason, cooking a turkey is a problem in my family.

I don't know why but we just can't seem to manage it.
I suppose it shouldn't be an enormous surprise, it's not like I cook, but after all these years and all these failures I am still laboring under some kind holiday enthusiam, a pop-up timer, insert theromoter here, "how hard can it be" mentality.

My Nana had 5 kids and being 1935, didn't work so she always had a hot meal on the table the moment grandfather walked in from work, it was expected. Dinner was applesauce, brown bread, coleslaw, rolls, baked beans, green beans, lima beans, mashed turnips, you name it. Lots of sides to fill up hungry kids in the post depression era. Two generations and more than 50 years later guess what we just can't live without at Thanksgiving. Oh we have to have it all of it or it's just some ordinary dinner.

Turns out that particular family tradition has covered our holiday ass because more often than not, our turkey is totally raw. We have had every variation in the book - not thawed enough, not started early enough, cooked allll night long and still not done.

I wonder if my friend Dave remembers the first turkey I ever tried. I was 22 and it was such a spectacular failure it should have been a cautionary tale for me forever. I think I will recount the fine details of that tale some other time but suffice to say we had invited everyone we knew to that dinner and it was massive public humiliation.

And a turkey? You think you can jam that sucker back in the oven but the truth is, once you cut into it, it's game over baby. I sent my mom home with a full to the top 8 QUART pot of partically cooked, deboned turkey. I have no idea what my mom is going to do with 8 quarts of turkey.

Glad you weren't at my house, aren't you.

Did you ever feel so tired that you felt...retarded? indisposed? drunk with exhaustion?

I have been tired but never so tired I felt like not only was I not in my body, I had no idea where to locate my body.

We failed at acquiring something we wanted this week. The only thing that is weird about it is that it is unusual. Usually we know what we want and we find a way to make. it. happen.
Not this time.
I want to believe that if it wasn't meant to be then life has taught us that forcing something is a huge mistake. There's no question you can force a round peg in a square hole, but there's also no question that there will be damage and regrets. The right things are not forced, they are gifts freely given.

But I'm still so let down.
Hope doesn't know anything about square holes.