How Long to Sing This Song

A few years ago someone invented an under-bed storage bag that you hook up to a vacuum cleaner and suck all the air out so you can store stuff in the minimum amount of space. I was walking around CVS tonight and realized that's how I felt. Crushed. Sucked small. Wrinkled. Seems like time for an anti-depressant. If you start having anxiety attacks when the sun goes down, it's probably time.

In other vacuum news, the schnauzer appears to have the magical ability to attract little burrs into the fur around his nose. I'm talking about hundreds, as if I put some kind of burr mousse into his nose fur. How the hell am I going to get those things out? What if I have to shave his beard off? I think he spends 50% of the year looking ridiculous because we have to denude him for stuff like this.

Tell me what you think of magical skills. Do you think everyone has a magical ability? I don't but I know some people do have it and it's weird. Let's say you have a gift, that's fine. I don't begrudge you but what I don't understand is why can't it be something useful? Just wondering.