Yesterday my mother called me at work at 9:30 all excited and said "it's the last day of your thirties!!". And then I was rude to her because who calls someone at work to say that. Plus, what exactly is the appropriate response? And then I felt really bad that I was rude, but seriously, wtf.
And while we are on the subject of my mother, I am at a complete loss to understand why she has no boundaries when it comes to work. She calls, she drops by, she comes into my office and uncrates the dog. Can you imagine your mother dropping in unexpectedly to your workplace once every couple of weeks? Even after living in New England for more than a year, she still doesn't get why it stresses us out.
Anyway.
Many weeks ago Rachel and Mark secretly discussed THE PLAN for my birthday - having my friends meet us at the MFA, going to an exhibit and then going to dinner. Mark said "great!" and left it all in her very capable party planning hands.
She proceeded to make very elaborate and secret preparations and Mark, assuming THE PLAN was exactly as they discussed, was a good sport and played right along. I started receiving letters in the mail telling me to do this and that, reserve this date and time, etc all very mysterious and exciting.
It's incredible to me, but somehow Mark never once checked in with her. Meanwhile, she knows him pretty well but it never occurred to her that he wouldn't be able to cope with a happy surprise - something she thought would be great fun.
So what she did was instead of planning a party (she figured been there, done that) she decided as a surprise to book us a romantic weekend for two in Boston. She would get us to our destination and then leave the fine details up to us - we could to do as much or as little as we liked.
She booked a room at the 4 Seasons that came with champagne, chocolate and breakfast, plus tickets to an exhibit at the MFA on Sunday afternoon. Dinner cash with taxi fare was provided (courtesy of my brother) and suggestions were given but the choice was left up to us.
Great! Fun! The only issue is, Mark can't roll like that.
He always needs a plan from the moment he gets out of bed in the morning until he goes to bed at night. Allll planned. On a regular day to day basis he juggles constantly - calls, questions, drop ins, but all on his turf. Take him away from his comfort zone and he can rarely can keep it together if anything unexpected pops up. If he forgets the GPS and gets lost, if the plane is delayed, if the car is low on gas, if airport parking is full, if he forgets his cell charger, you name it, it doesn't take much, he completely and usually inappropriately loses it.
In this case, neither of us knew exactly where we were going (we had an address and directions) and we were sent into the heart of the city, negotiating traffic and pedestrians. Then, suddenly we arrived at the address we were given and 4 valets leaped from the curb, opening our doors, helping with the bags, welcoming us, asking for the room reservation name, needing to be tipped, holding the lobby doors open and all that was before we got into the building. Right about then, I opened the next envelope and he learned that there was no plan, no dinner reservations, no friends coming and he was just supposed to relax. Result: plan change and instant epic meltdown.
So, the weekend didn't go as planned but I suppose my reminder is my life never does. It the end, it was a really lovely thought but next time we will let Mark stay at work and it will just be a girls weekend.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Post Thanksgiving wrap up
Well, I survived. I was thinking this year would be zero fun because I have never attended a Thanksgiving with only 4 people, let alone hosted such a small party. But the lack of people turned out to be deceiving - my mom and sister stayed over the night before, Ann came for dinner, Jack dropped by with chocolates and just when I was ready for bed (around 7) Rach and Bob came back and we all watched movies until late. Fun!!
Dinner was awful, but that's what happens when you only cook once a year. At least the turkey was perfect. We looked at it as practice for Christmas when we're going all out - ham, turkey, the works - everything I can think of.
This is the first year I have been really sad not to go home to Pennsylvania. I hate the drive, but there's something so nice about Christmas there. It's different. It's neighborly - people bring Christmas cookies to each other. So many plates of cookies show up, no one family could possibly eat them all. Churches ring their bells and play carols on loudspeakers; there are always carolers. We are invited to lots of gatherings, there's lots of family to try and get around to and sometimes we even have time to see our high school friends.
We just don't have that up here. We have lived in this house for 9 years and most of our neighbors have never introduced themselves, let alone bring us cookies. There's an older lady that walks by every morning that I wave to and she never waves back. I was brought up to wave to everybody, wasn't everyone??
Yes, I know, I could start something, send a couple of plates around and see how it goes but it just doesn't seem like it's something normal up here. Or am I wrong - do your neighbors have you in? Bring you cookies? Carol at your house? Do tell.
We are pretty anti-social in general, so perhaps that's it. And it's something else too - we don't have kids and our neighborhood is filled with them. Parallel to that thought, Mark doesn't hang with his extended family much and that always makes the holidays odder. I find them to be very nice people and very artsy crafty - the men are into all kinds of sports and the women are knitters, quilters, cross stitchers, etc. however, Mark is different and it isn't that he has his own personal library of car books in order by marque. Of all the cousins, Mark is pretty much the only one without at least one little kid. Mark's mom keeps inviting us to do things, most recently a trip to Arizona in May for a big extended family vacation but she keeps forgetting we don't have little kids. People who don't have little kids are not positioned well to be able to add to a discussion about hand-me-downs, toilet training, school photos and Storyland expansion. I'm not pooping on school pictures or Storyland but right now, I feel very out of place around his cousins with all their little people and diaper bags and it's another reason why I wish I was heading home to my old 'hood for a big box of holiday nostalgia.
Hopefully, in another year my Dad will still be there and we can head back and breathe in deeply of everything that lets you know you're back where you came from and life is all special and Christmasy.
Dinner was awful, but that's what happens when you only cook once a year. At least the turkey was perfect. We looked at it as practice for Christmas when we're going all out - ham, turkey, the works - everything I can think of.
This is the first year I have been really sad not to go home to Pennsylvania. I hate the drive, but there's something so nice about Christmas there. It's different. It's neighborly - people bring Christmas cookies to each other. So many plates of cookies show up, no one family could possibly eat them all. Churches ring their bells and play carols on loudspeakers; there are always carolers. We are invited to lots of gatherings, there's lots of family to try and get around to and sometimes we even have time to see our high school friends.
We just don't have that up here. We have lived in this house for 9 years and most of our neighbors have never introduced themselves, let alone bring us cookies. There's an older lady that walks by every morning that I wave to and she never waves back. I was brought up to wave to everybody, wasn't everyone??
Yes, I know, I could start something, send a couple of plates around and see how it goes but it just doesn't seem like it's something normal up here. Or am I wrong - do your neighbors have you in? Bring you cookies? Carol at your house? Do tell.
We are pretty anti-social in general, so perhaps that's it. And it's something else too - we don't have kids and our neighborhood is filled with them. Parallel to that thought, Mark doesn't hang with his extended family much and that always makes the holidays odder. I find them to be very nice people and very artsy crafty - the men are into all kinds of sports and the women are knitters, quilters, cross stitchers, etc. however, Mark is different and it isn't that he has his own personal library of car books in order by marque. Of all the cousins, Mark is pretty much the only one without at least one little kid. Mark's mom keeps inviting us to do things, most recently a trip to Arizona in May for a big extended family vacation but she keeps forgetting we don't have little kids. People who don't have little kids are not positioned well to be able to add to a discussion about hand-me-downs, toilet training, school photos and Storyland expansion. I'm not pooping on school pictures or Storyland but right now, I feel very out of place around his cousins with all their little people and diaper bags and it's another reason why I wish I was heading home to my old 'hood for a big box of holiday nostalgia.
Hopefully, in another year my Dad will still be there and we can head back and breathe in deeply of everything that lets you know you're back where you came from and life is all special and Christmasy.
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